Maria 11/10-88

Okay, so I'm at my appartement, reading some of my mothers old poems.
This blog is not usually where I post poems but this one time!

I were reading her poems and came across this one that I felt was speaking about my life and a person in my life. I will write it in swedish first, the original, and then translate it afterwards.

Hej

Får jag be om din hjälp?

Jag har en rädsla....        

Det gör ont inom mig, någonting...

Vad kan det vara?                           

Jag vill .... nej så får det bara

inte vara                                          

Var är du när jag behöver
dig?                                                 
Måste det vara så? Nej... 
inte om du kan hjälpa mig              
En rädsla... ja det förklarar
ganska bra vad jag känner               
En rädsla...                        
Tårar.                                               
Besvikelse                                       
Skakar som av köld...        
Fryser i värmen                 
Kylan kommer inifrån                    
Från min själ                                  
Där, där sitter rädslan         
Du, det är du som får mig att          
känna rädsla                                    
Det är du som är orsaken   
men det vet du ingenting om           
Det vet du ingenting om    
Min RÄDSLA....                             

Translation...

Hi
Can I ask for your help?
I have a fear....             
It hurts inside me, something...     
What can it be?                               
I want to... no it just     
can't be.                                          
Where are you when I  
need you?                                       
Does it have to be like that? No.... 
not if you can help me
A fear ... yes that explains              
quite well what I feel 
A fear...                      
Tears.                                             
Dissapointment                             
Shivers as from cold...
Freezing in the heat    
The cold comes from within         
From my soul                               
There, there is the fear
You, it is you that makes me        
feel fear                                        
You are the reason     
which you know nothing about    
You know nothing about             
My FEAR....            

As the poem says the person knows nothing about my fear, nothing about how I feel. Someday I might be able to tell him or her. But for now.. it will be my little secret...

But Hugs and Kisses