Packing!

I really need to start packing my bags for my "trip" to the united states and to pack up my appartement in to boxes so that it is at lest a little bit done when I'm supposed to move out!

But for soome  reason I'm feeling very atteched to this appartement I've never been feeling this much separation anxiety befor I think and it is very odd.. but when I'm done I guess it will all be just great!
And I'm so excited about going to Georgia. not even three weeks left now!

But Hugs and Kisses

Embassy

So I've been to the American Embassy a few days ago, my Visa is now approved, feel so great!
I was really nervous as usuall when it comes to people asking me questions. I read a post from another aupair before I went to the embassy where she talked about her experience there.
She said that they had only asked her two questions but when I was talking to the people at the embassy that woman asked me about four questions or more, "What are you going to do in the USA?" "How many children will you care for?" "What previous experience do you have with children?" "What are your plans after your program has ended?". Not such bad questions but I'm always afraid I will do or say something wrong so I was really nervous all the time, so the relief I felt when she told me my Visa had been approved was incredible. So now I just need to pack my bag/s and clean out my appartement and I'm leaving the sixth of January! Can't wait!!

But Hugs and Kisses

Gah!

Okay, once againg I'm angry with myself..
I thought I had read everything through really well but apparently not..
I missed one tiny (not so tiny really) detail.. I should have waited a few weeks more to order my international driverlicense.. And now I do not know what to do, I can't spend five weeks with my hostfamily without being able to drive! I need to get in contact with the people who made the license.. hopefully them and I can figure something out  together.. I have to call tomorrow or monday then..

Now I need to sleep!!

But Hugs and Kisses

No words!

(As usuall)

Just a few songs to get my mind off words that hurt.

Strong enough

Don't speak

Love will remember

Excited and confused..

So totally excited!

The date is set and the family found! Going to the United states early January, really can't wait!
But the thing is.. I don't know how to do now..  I have like.. three blogs.. one for short stories and one that I started the first time I decided to go as an Au pair to USA but when I did not go there I decided to start writing poems on that one instead and start this one for random thoughts.
The confusing thing, what I wonder about is that I was planning on getting back to writing about my excperiences in the one with poems, but now I have quite a few poems on there so I don't know any more, but I'm not sure I want to write on this one.. but to start a fourth one, seems a bit much maybe.. but, there is still a few weeks left until I have to decide so I'll just write on her for now!

So I am going to a family of four in Georgia, which is nice but I will miss the snow next christmas! I don't know how I will cope.
There are the mother and the father and two children, the oldest will be 15 in a few days so I will have to trie to remember that! And the girl that I will take care of the most is a twelve year old. They all seem really nice and I am really looking forward to next year!

I will try to remember to write about my progress, not that I think that anyone will find it very interesting to read about but because I want to write about it. And I will try to figure out what blog to write on in the future!

Well now take care!

But Hugs and Kisses

Turkey!

Okay so now I'm done with my job for the summer, the hours are over and I feel I really need a well deserved break.. After ony three whole weekends off the whole summer and working more than fulltime.
So tonight Freud and I are flying away!
To sun and ocean and beach and another nature.
I have longed for so long to go again, I really miss being in another country!

So I hope all of you have I good time to doing whatever you are planning, work or vacation or school or whatever! Because I sure am planning on a great time!

But Hugs and Kisses

Midsummer

I was off work friday (Midsummer's Eve) so I went up to visit som amazing people in Jörn.
At first I were with some people, we had a bbq and I played with the chidren who were there, it was lovely but after a while I decided I wanted to see if I could find another friend, thought that if he was out looking in one of their cars I could say hi, but he was not out so I walt to the closest playground (wich is very close) and sat on one of the swings.
After just a little while I decide to go back to the bbq I came from but when I passed the house where I had hoped my friend would  be outside I saw that another familymember was outside smoking so he told me to go inside because people were home.
So I got stuck there, first just talking to the woman of the house wich was really nice and we saw some television, than the man of the house and one of the guys came up as well, we started to watch a movie and they dropped of one by one until it was just the guy and I left, we finished the movie and then we just hang out the rest of the night, it was truly a wonderful time. even though I was very tired saturday!
And yet again I just want to thank all of you people that I hung out with friday to saturday I could most likely not have dreamed of a better time. Love you!

But Hugs and Kisses

Good work!

Okay, so now I'm almost done being good today!
Just some pots and pans left!
Soo.. I've been working from seven this morning.. well only until like.. half past three but still.. and when I got back hom I decided not to put on my computer because I know I get stuck if I do so I just listened to music from my MP3 and cleaned my apartement, good work! And now I feel that I deserve a well needed break, going to try to wash the rest of the dishes later, we'll see if I can make it!

But Hugs and Kisses

Day

I'm beat!
So first I went rollerskating like 20 km and then I met up with a friend and walked around town with him for for hours wearing high heels, then we went to his place where I spoke to his girlfriend for a while and when his parants and one of his brothers came with chineese food I left them and went rollerskating home about 13 km.. so now I'm beat, it's about a quarter to eight in the evening and I'm near getting in to bed.. I'll sleep well tonight! hopefully not so well that I don't wake up tomorrow thou!

But Hugs and Kisses

Moving on

Okay so yesterday was my last day of internship, and now I've started to sub instead.
I get more money for it so that is nice :)
other wise not so much to do!
Rolling around on my skates for a few hours some days, its amaziing..
This was just a short post but have a great day!

But Hugs and Kisses

If I could turn back time

Okay so feeling a bit nostalgic this evening, listening to and singing with some songs I used to listen to when I was younger

Some Cher

Some Mr.President

Some Lou Bega

Some Leann Rimes

Some Seether

And a lot more! A little bit mixed, but that is me, not just a shy girl hiding when she meets new people, not just a crazy girl goofing off with her friends, not just a heartbroken girl feeling lost and lonely with noone to give all the love in her heart to.

I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know if I'm one of the or if I'm all of them, can you be more than one person, or are some of them just people you have made up to be able to cope, people you can put aside when life gets to hard?

At the moment I have a lot of thoughts and I don't know where to put them, so I wrote some of them down here at my blog, maybe I should try to write in my diary.. Well these were youst some of my thoughts, hope they did not bore you too much, and I'm going to finish of this post wit a couple of new songs in my life!

Chris Walker and Dan Hill

But Hugs and Kisses

OMG!

OMG Amazing!
Finally got a vacuum cleaner!!

So first thing today (almost) I vacuumed my appartement! it feels amazing, now I just need a mop.. so I can make my home shining.

And, I hame a job for the summer, as I might have mentioned before, It's all green, just need to sign something I guess, or.. I don't know anymore..
We'll see

I don't know what to say, I really wish that I get accepted to at least one of the schools I've applyed to this fall I really want to study to become a nurse so that I can later become a midwife, I really wish it was not to much studying.. but well I guess that's life!

But Hugs and Kisses

Springtime

Okay, so it's kind of getting close to spring now or something!
It's been above 0 degrees Celsius the past couple of days so it's kind of slippery outside and the snow is melting!
I kind of like it, I like warmth and sun so I really miss England and Spain, much warmer than sweden..
So what is everyone doing for easter? I would love to work but does not seem like that is going to happen, sadly.. But I'll just make the best out of the situation and might visit some relatives and go out with the snowmobile if I have time and not to much going on at the internship. Hopefully that will lead to some job soon thou..

I don't know what else to write, I would have liked my life to be a little more exciting but life is what you make it right? So if I want a change I can't just wait for it to happen I need to make my own opportunity

Well, You all have a great time until next time!

But Hugs and Kisses

Hey!

I just wanted to say that I now got blogger on my phone and that that might led to Me making more post! We'll see.. thou it is now time för Me to say Good night my friends.. short post this time

But Hugs and Kisses

Lost and lonely

I don't know where to start, so much is going on and I don't even know..

I'm really sick and tired of people not doing things they say they are going to do! But well I can't do anything about it most of the time, just try to stay calm and collected!

On the other hand, I have a job for the summer! And most likely substitut person at my internship place ;)

Oh yea.. I don't think I have written since before I got it.. So oh well, I have an internship, and it is rater nice acctually, and it is nice to work for a change, I just wish that internships gave me a little bit more money, but well, it will be allright!

I wish I could cry but I need to stay strong right now, I don't want to break down and risk not being able to get up again!..

well..

But Hugs and Kisses

So tired

Okay so this with more posts.. did not tur out so well apparently!
But still, I'll just write when I feel like it, I'm so tired all the time now and can't be bothered to do anything!
I really need something to occupie my time, like a job or studies och something, I can't just sit at home staring and looking, trying to find something to do! It's not me and and it's not what I want to spend my days doing..

At the moment just staring at different television series, like Awkward, Victorious, Switched at birth and others, but they all com to an end and I find myself staring at the wall having nothing to do..

Anyways, I have a friend, we didn't speak for about four or five months but everything seems to work out now, we are talking again and putting the past behind us, just hope that it will continue, that it won't fall apart again, I don't think I could handle that, because this friend is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I should probably not say that because I have a lot of really great friends but this one, really has a special place in my live, and always will have!

But Hugs and Kisses

Cuddle

Okay so now it's the end of the week.. Sunday non the less and still no sign from you.
Ah well, that's life I guess..

So now I'm back in my appartement, don't know what to do though.. Have to look for a job but that's how it's supposed to be I guess! So while I try to figure things out I will do some crosstitches? and see where my life will lead me next. Some other amazing place, with other amazing people I hope!

Oh and yesterday I really found myself wanting someone tu cuddle with, I had a visitor the whole day that was so cosy and cuddly I wanted him to stay when he had to go, very mean of you Jenna to take Yoda from me! not nice.. ah well, I guess you wanted to cuddle with someone as well when your bf left you.. but you know.. He will come back.. I've heard they always do. And when he does I want to borrow your dog some more.

So this will be a random post, hope you don't mind, my head is just in space at the moment and I sort of like it sometimes but not when it stays to long..

I will write again soon, one of my non new year resolutions, write more often!

But Hugs and Kisses

13-01-02

It will happen again.
But this time I'll make it right
and not rush in to anything

But that was not what I wanted to talk to you about!
What I wanted to say was just that I did not get in too school, So I'm going to figure out my next step, my next move.
And see how that can lead me to my goal, everything happens for a reason as I've always believed, so there is most likely a reason for this to be as well.

Any ways I need to find a job, the first thing I actually did when I saw that I was not accepted to the school was to apply for a job, so I'm actually proud of myself because if this had been a year ago I would not have, I would have let this bring me down and I would have been staring at the tv or something so I've come a long way, I'm not nearly close to where I want to be, but I'm getting there. I'm happier, more open and stronger, there is only one thing that could break me completely now, and I know what that is so I'm not going to let it happen, I'm going to be ready for everything that comes my way, just bring it on!

Well sweet dreams

But Hugs and Kisses

2013!

Okay, New year, new possibilities, only thing is.. I don't know what to do this year!

Well, I never know wht to do but I'll figure something out as I usually do!

Before I go on with this new chapter (year) of my life I want to thank everyone that I met during this last year for everythig that they've tought me, special thanks to all the new people I met in Spain while I was there for twelve weeks, you truly are amazing people, I have grown so much thanks to you and now I am closer to knowing who I am, and who I want to be for the rest of my life.

And also thank you to the two awsome people that made my new years eve to an awsome event though we were only three people there, I had so much fun and I am so happy that you two were the people that I got to go in to the new year with, You don't have to have fifty persons around you or go to the biggest parties, if you just have people you can trust it does not matter how many you are.

I wish I could have had at least two more persons there though, not because I did not have as much fun without them as I would have had with them but because I wish to have them in my life for a very long time and want to share all my moments with them I hope we will have a lot of good memories from other "events" instead, and I know we will because you feel like a part of me, a part I would never want to be without, a part I would never want to lose.

 

Now I don't know what more to say than I wish it was tomorrow so that I get my answer from school and that I am not going to have a new years resolution just be myself this year and do what I need to do to fell good, keep away from the people that puts me down and keep to the people that helps me up. With me you always get a second chance but to gain my trust again takes time. I've been hurt many times and it is not something that I want to go through more times than necsessary.

Well now to a happier time, New year!

Don't stop me now!
Hope it will all be well for all of you.

But Hugs and Kisses